Tuesday, 10 December 2013

To live - just an idea.


Smoky smoky grayish moments,

Are making their way,

Through my conscious and subconscious,

I know now of a distant light.



A distant light that i can see,

Through the grayish moments,

Is full of light, you know.

Now i have known to live.



To live- i have now known,

With no sorrows and worries:

I didn't wanted or forced them to go,

My courage and my dreams,

Through that horizon of orange sunset, you know.



But what is this?

One day i woke up and i knew,

That I was devoid of them all,

Hope, dream, summer and fall,

And it was such a relief, you know

I was empty though.



I was smiling as I found,

Within me, nothing but absence,

Of fear and dread:

I was smiling because;

I knew then of a distant light.


12/10/2013
4:28 PM
(out of no where)

Monday, 17 June 2013

Angel and the Devil Part-2

"Why are you laughing?” asked the devil.


“Ummm, it’s just that---I am---Happy!” the angel screamed with joy, the gay laughter, over joyous and twinkles in eyes.


“Why are you happy?” asked the devil irritably, but rather curiously.


“Because I have the right to be happy” said the angel drunkenly, his mind straying in the meadows of love.


The devil remained quiet.


“It is the time” he said to himself, while he was looking at the angel lost in his joys, his eyes distant but filled with dreams of love.


“Yes it is the time”, the devil said again, rather enthusiastically, and went on.


“It is the time for spring to go and autumn to come, for day to go and night to come, for breeze to go and storm to come, for flowers to go and thorns to come, for joys to go and pain to come, for this damn happiness to go and regrets to come! Yes it is the time!” the devil smiled, although it was difficult to do so, but he did it anyway.


After all it was his time.


Now the devil was looking at the angel.


Then, quietly, with conscious movements, he went to him.


The angel was sitting in a corner, legs curled up and head hidden in his lap.


Then, the devil put his hand over angel’s shoulder.


The angel looked up.


His face, that was just a moment before, blooming like a flower, was now drooped,  his cheeks were wet with tears, his eyes were blood shot, lost and very distant, his golden hair were gone from his scalp, and there were scars and thorns embedded in his scalp. His white dress was smudged with brown and red, it was surely mud and his blood.


The devil took a long breath as if to confirm his joy and relief, and cunningly asked,
“O dear! What happened to you? What have you done?”


The angel was now stealing his gaze, as if embarrassed.
“No it’s just---- that---- I—am not in a good mood.” He finally said, trying as much as he could to pass a smile.


“O dear! Is it also your right?” the devil asked with aroused curiosity.


The angel now understood everything, and looked at the devil desperately, his eyes watered.


The devil passed a cunning smile.


“No, it is just that--- I am --- not having a good time.” He remarked, hesitantly.


“Or maybe you have a bad habit and you have a right to---“


“I said nay, I am not having a good time!” the angel interrupted the devil, his body language now desperate.


Now it was the devil laughing and screaming, with gay laughter, over joyous and twinkle in eyes.
“Haha! You do have bad habit, my dear Angelo! You do have a bad habit to be--- BLIND”, the devil shouted, laughing endlessly.


While the devil was twisting on the floor with fits of laughter, he saw angel got up and fly away. To cry at some other place. In a corner, with legs curled up and head hidden in his lap.

Friday, 14 June 2013

Angel and the Devil Part-1

"So you really think there is a song worth telling about?

The song that might wretch you to death,

And send you to eternal damnation!

Aren't you afraid to take this step?

Isn't this so unnatural?

Your gay laughter and ultimate joy?

Ah, I guess you were mistaken u lousy dreamer!

It might turn into thorns for you!

Behold, stop the nonsense or you shall be doomed!", said the devil.


"Alas, you are so fearful!

What makes you really so dark?

It is the thrill i taste, so full of life it is,

That in me I find the essence of each symphony it speaks of,

And without it, I shall rather be doomed,

And for it, I might even risk eternal damnation

Or whatever it shall be,

Such is thy song of love,

A song worth telling about!", so said the angel.

Saturday, 1 June 2013

A place where love is born, fed, brought up and shed...


A place where love is born, fed, brought up and shed is the place where colors are brighter, where sounds are clearer, where sights are more obvious, where smells are more familiar.

A place where love is born, fed, brought up and shed is the place of freedom and bliss, where the self is nurtured in the wildest of care, where dreams are made with sudden dares, where life learns flight, where wings are broken down.

It is the place soaked with unknown familiarity, drenched in forgotten yearnings, pregnant with mystical myths, it is a place where every detail is known to be known for, and every door is opened to be closed….

 Where history echoes in every corner, those laughter are still held in the air,  those shrieks are still somewhere, under the sky and above the earth, is a place where spirits live under the stairs, and man in the painting constantly stares.

It's about a trance where stars are above watching, an unknown audience, watching every move, sometimes delighted and sometimes gloomy, where air around is rejoicing over the arrival of springs,  where flowers were brought to be drooped, where dreams were made to be doomed.

A place where love is born, fed, brought up and shed Is the place of various languages, chillies, and wheat flour. Where that tea strain is still somewhere speaking of its story, those dust grains pushed to the corners are still waiting for their trial, where secrets are still their under the hollow space between the cabinets,  where secrets long forgotten are still prevailing.

A place where love is born, fed, brought up and shed is the place where lizards have lain eggs, where ants parade under the hedge, where doors once creaked, where windowpane were broken down, where autumn brought dried leaves, and storms brought layers of dust, spring brought flowers of rejoicing, where winters were passed beside the fire, where waiting was once the only option.

Where emotions are not vague, where music is also made, where guitars are played, where the songs once sung stay. It is a place where toys are brought to be broken down, where secrets were hidden to be forgotten, where care was once taken to be deserted, where attentions were once given to be forgotten, where the footprints are still the evidences of crimes done, and broken dolls are the memory of rooms once decorated. 

Where fairy tales are still fabulous, where the prince went away from the backyard and never came back, and the princes cried behind the guava tree, where the deserts produced flowers, and gardens produced thorns, where nature was reversed, were rules were turned, where loved one cried and the devil rejoiced.

Where angels sat on the shoulders, and prayers were offered at the top most attic, where walls were climbed, were mischief were dealt with, where love was offered some day, and rejection was the fate the other day.

Where foundations were laid, and doubts were born. Where insecurity crept within, where darker truths faded away, where conscience is clear and the soul is at bay...

A place where love is born, fed, brought up and shed is a place where mud was once played with, where gardens were once maintained, where mud was left to become dust, where gardens were left to be destroyed, where honour was kept above all, and idols were thrashed into parts, where stories were stolen thousands of, where trusts were broken many times.

Its a place where habits developed, where intimacy prevailed, where silence speaks of those weeping souls, where opening of windows brought joyful news. Where small details are still untouched, where small realities are still unravelled, where that unknown corner is waiting for centuries to be discovered, where God of small things is still a picture of no recognition.

...Where the trunks are still locked, and gutters are still blocked, where the books are dusty for years, where pages are still to be turned, where familiarity has crept deep into the unknown, where surprises are gone away to stray, where there is no cause, where there is no awe, where everything is boring and soul is bounded.

Where future was dreamed, and present was lived, and past was gotten. It is a place of nostalgia and of past, of mystical paths and mythical pavements, where drama was tragic and the audience was awestruck.

It is as soft as the cradle of mother, as secure as arms of a lover, as regretful as thorns of the past, as painful as the memory that lasts.

A place where love is born, fed, brought up and shed is a place with different destinations where love has always been enough for us to hate, go away, and eventually come back. Where love has always been enough to let us leave. The place where everyone belongs, a place safe as home, a place called home. 

Sunday, 19 May 2013

As i am scared of I...

image: Helena Georgiou
The desperate nights, and ecstatic state,

The aroma of hopes, and endless fears,

The drenched body, and being insomniac...



Creeping within my flesh are some wild habits,

And like a stubborn shadow, I run from them,

But alas, they never let me go!

Ah! I forgot to call it my high class ego:

Indeed I never wanted them to go,

Or maybe i did?



With all these darker times, and purple moments,

Burdened breaths, and a conscious relish;
                                       
The clock in the background is ticking,
                                       
The climax of painful aims is reaching,
                                     
The revelation is all at once!
                                       
Time is all that is counting,
                                     
Oh, will I survive these terms?

                                     


What shall I tell you about my story?
                                       
Everyday, I make life a bit at my mercy,
                                       
Or otherwise i have got wild habits;
                                       
And like a dark past, i run from them,
                                     
As i am scared of I:
                                     
And that makes me what I am.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

What if?


LIFE- it was too short to ask questions, it always had been. Still, these curiosities and those inabilities don't go away, they implant themselves deep in the midst of your heart and they grow, and as they grow and penetrate within your flesh, they transmit a disease, and diseases always give you pain. And grief. And regrets. And past. And the memories. And they never go away, they wait somewhere near your skull, making you conscious of their presence, like a dog. They always urge you to take risk and ask questions to satisfy them, to satisfy you. But what if they would have let you be free, to not to ask questions, to sit dumb and listen to the music of surroundings, small whispers, voices of small life around, voices of distant areas. What if they would have let you to sit for a while in the middle of nowhere and cry and cry endlessly and furiously for your madness, your Infinite Joy? What if, if they would have let you to believe in those small things (or maybe big things?) caged with brief moments (or maybe long moment), moments worth enough to change the outcomes of entire life, moments worth enough to make you what you were, and what you were supposed to be (or maybe what you were not and what you were not supposed to be). What if they would have let you to believe in living, and living to its full and till end, and what if they would have let you to feel and live through fear, danger, hunger, thirst, pain. What if, if it would have let you to carry on, even if you were battered and bruised, blacked and blued? What if, if it would have let you to sense fullness of nothingness? What if?
But then you say, it's done, and what's done can't be undone. Simple as that. But is it really simple as that? If it were simple as that, life wouldn't have had given you the ability to reminiscence the past, it would have let you to tear away your yesterday's story, like pages from a book. But it didn't. Probably it cares for the good moments you had in you past... But still, is it simple as that?

Is She That Worth a Storyteller?


Is she that worth a storyteller?

All the Norths and Souths, and Easts and Wests,

Would she be gathering all those together?

And those scattered meanings that they possessed?



Sometimes high and sometimes low,

Would she cast a spell upon her listeners?

With the magic of her voice,

Would she be showing them dark at day,

And light at night?



Would she reach the core of their hearts?

And resonate it like strings of a guitar?

Would she see their tears of pain,

Their desperation of agony, their praises,

Would they be left all in vain?



Would she sing a lullaby to them?

Lullaby leading to their hidden chronicles?

Would she unfold the pages of their books?

And would they be left bruised at her sharp looks?



And would they sing the song with her?

Breathless and soulful, would they scream?

And would they bow before her?

Or maybe worship her?



Is it just the cause of mere storytelling?

Or is she that worth a storyteller?


07-04-13

From a Distance...

The love vanished away with time, it evaporated from the times of a distant past, but still, whenever she listened to that song, she was embraced by that same warmth and beautiful scent of the sunsets and sunshine those days offered. She was like clinging to that memory, although the love vanished, the excitement faded, she was still like not letting him go, as if his memory filled her, completed her, contented her. And what exactly was her love? She saw him from a distance, loved him from the distance, kept him with her secretly, as if it was enough for her, as if just that beautified her. She was just so fragile to only create a secret world with him(or secret world with her heart as nobody knew. Who knows?) and that was just enough. And now that the memory came back with all it's essence, she felt like not letting him go, as she was still on that same point, still in love personally, and she felt like holding on to those small pleasures and happiness that life could offer again. Probably this loving from a distance was an attempt by her to love herself, to care for herself as the point to ponder is that her love was only known by her and that she only loved from a distance. And now that the memory came back, probably she was in need to love herself again, to care for herself again...